On Being Yourself

Monday, 01 March 2010 00:00

Turn on any channel of the TV or open a tabloid magazine and you can see people who are trying to be something…or anything… other than who they are.  We know they are often not the image they project since we have seen so many of their lives play out into tragedy.  They have a certain glamour to convey, and who lives under the gloss is anyone’s guess.  But instead of shining the spotlight on the characters in the media, the lesson for all of us is probably to turn the spotlight within.  Forget the Hollywood red carpet.  Who is standing on the carpet in your life?  When you look in the mirror, do you like the person you see?

Within the universal Law of Attraction is a well-known fact: you attract who you are.  If you are trying to be someone else, and are uncomfortable in your identity, chances are strong that you will meet someone with this same condition.  In order to get aligned with your goal of meeting someone wonderful, here are some ideas to launch you on the path to finding more of yourself:

If you are captivated by what the latest fashion is for your favorite star; if you spend your free time perusing fan magazines; and if you watch TV with your own running commentary about the lives of the rich and famous, you may be using these icons as a distraction from what you need to be doing for you.  Ask yourself: Am I giving myself this much attention on what truly matters?  Have I spent this much time pursuing self-growth?  Do I visualize what I want and then take the necessary actions to get it?

FOR YOUR INFORMATION:  Your life is just as meaningful as anyone else’s.  Pay attention to what you need to do to feel you matter.

Put down the picture magazines that portray the hyper-publicized icons and start living a life you are proud of.  Take pictures of yourself, your friends, and your family while you’re at it.  Save the emails, notes, cards, awards, and mementoes that validate your hard work and who you are.  When you feel the urge to read about someone important, take a look at your scrapbook.  You need to be reminded that you matter to others, and that what you do is important.  Your book is proof that you can be proud of your life.

FYI:  Your own magazine is better than any you could buy.  Why?  It’s about a real person—you.

You leave little time to be the real you when obsessing about how to look, what to wear, and who you are seen with.  Focus instead on what you have accomplished today.  Did you pay someone a compliment, thank the person for holding the door open, or smile at the checkout clerk and tell her to have a good day?  People care more about how you treat them and if you are a warm and genuine person than they do about what you are wearing.

FYI:  If you are leading a life you are proud of, you won’t ever have to worry about your image—because you’ll be sparkling and attractive!

Whenever I’ve tried to be more…or different… or someone other than I am, I’ve failed miserably.  It never worked—and still doesn’t.  But sometimes, it’s so hard to be who you are.  The teenage years were the worst when I was five foot eight, 98 pounds, with legs that started at my armpits and a flat chest. During that stage, I was asked to go swimming with a small group of city kids.  At 16, I drove the old stick shift Dodge pickup into town on a day it wasn’t needed on the farm.  I borrowed my older sister’s bathing suit since mine was ratty, stuffed it with some rubber enhancements in the chest area, and drove off to the prettiest hacienda I’d ever seen.  After an hour of polite conversation and watching the others swim, I decided to take the plunge.  When I came up for air, I noticed my friends politely looking in the other direction.  The second thing I saw were my two enhancements—floating on top of the water.  Beyond mortified, I gathered them up, wrapped myself in a towel, politely said goodbye and sped away, milk cans and pitchforks rattling around in the bed of the truck.  That was just one of my several attempts at glamour that backfired. Did I mention…it just isn’t worth it?

FYI:  Be yourself and enjoy that self.  Everyone else does.

Imposters, pretenders, and flakes are not the kind of dates people are looking for.  When it comes to socializing, the only person you need to bring to the party is you.  That’s the person people want to meet.