Are You Able to Love?

Are You Able to Love?

Monday, 03 May 2010 06:21

I am sure many people can sympathize with this arresting quote.  Since I operate daily in the world of people who seek to love and be loved, I know from their stories that the thought and the words are appropriate to the current times—even if they were written almost a century ago.

It is true that the need for love never goes away.  Some things never change.  What has changed, however, is the realization of how to give yourself what you need.  It isn’t necessary to pine away for unfulfilled dreams.  You no longer need to suffer the feelings of hurt, abandonment, or being unloved. Civilization has arrived at a new consciousness of choice: you can take the actions necessary to have a life of love.

I also know that in order to find love, you must become the love you are looking for. How exactly do you do that?  Take a look at:


Your Home
Wanna fall in love and stay in love?  Love your home.  Whether it’s a closet or a castle, take loving care of your personal nest.  It should seduce you with it’s warmth, welcome, color, and distinct style.  It should carry the quiet message that whispers, “You are safe here.”  You want to be embraced by textures, tones, calming sounds, comfortable seating, delicious smells coming from the kitchen, and memorabilia strategically placed that remind you of who you are and where you’ve been.  Your home should be your refuge; your place that says, “Welcome Home,” the minute you walk in the door. If you feel it, everyone else will feel it, and they’ll never want to leave.

Your Friends
You may be someone who can get inexplicably captured by the people or “friends” who have the least possibility of being true.  This unnecessary, unproductive connection can drain your happiness and confidence.  Re-think whom you feel good with and what it is about them that make you feel that way.  Focus on who feeds you energy and who depletes you.  When you develop the eyes to know the difference between who’s in your corner and who isn’t, and the maturity to let go of the draining ones, you will have a better mastery of the ability to love yourself.

Your Career
You have a perfect opportunity to use your work as a place to do your best, be your best, and excel.  Work is a place where you not only can be paid for your services, but a place to define who you are in that setting.  To achieve a stronger sense of self-worth, look for ways you can deliver more than is expected. Work is also a place where you can make yourself proud.  Naturally, you have to keep a balance between work, rest and renewal.  If you don’t like what you’re currently doing, think of it this way: your job helps you pay the bills while you’re figuring out what career you want to pursue.  So always be a strong contributor in your place of employment!

Your Past
So many people live their lives in regret.  They obsess on what they should have done, could have done, and would not have done…if only.  Dump the baggage of the past…you’ve carried it around long enough…and forgive yourself for what you didn’t know how to do yesterday.  Failure is the fertilizer for growing a rich life.  You might not like the smell of it, but it’s necessary. It’s only by making mistakes that we can sort out what we want to do tomorrow. Assess what you’ve learned, what you don’t want to repeat, and take the steps needed to move forward.

Your Inner Life
Only you know what’s dancing through your mind, undermining your hopes and dreams.  But if your thoughts are predominantly negative or poisonous to your soul—it’s time to re-program that toxic voice. Remember your successes, the people who love you, and the contribution you make.  And give yourself a metaphorical pat on the back for always trying with your whole heart.


The suffering from not being able to love is unnecessary.  You can learn to love by loving yourself first.  Become attentive to your needs, responsible for your agreements and commitments, and dedicated to giving your best in all situations.

Are you able to love someone?  Yes!  It isn’t hard to shift out of an old gear and into a new one.  Think about the above and get started.  When you become the person you are looking for, you’ll find your love right around the corner—waiting for you.