Finding A Great Quarter Horse Is Like Finding A Great Date
Monday, 15 February 2010 00:00
Have you asked yourself lately what you want? Often, when I ask coaching clients that question, they look a little lost and say, “I don’t really know. I don’t spend much time thinking about what I want—I’m too busy taking care of everyone else.”
After years of asking people what they want, I decided to ask myself that same question. Since I’ve already dated, found the drop dead fabulous guy and married him, and enjoy my purpose in life, what more is there? Then it hit me: having a great Quarter Horse, of course. These steps helped me get what I wanted. Maybe they can do the same for you in dating.
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Are You All Alone on Valentine’s Day?
Monday, 08 February 2010 00:00
“When you’re in love you can’t fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams.”–Dr. Seuss
Who doesn’t want to be in love…especially on Valentine’s Day? The magic of meeting that special person and celebrating a holiday of romance is what every person who is single wistfully dreams of. But what do you do when you find yourself alone on Valentine’s Day? Do you feel depressed, think love is never going to happen for you, and resent the hearts and flowers on display that remind you of having no one to share your chocolates with? There’s a better way. Consider:
Rebound Romance
Monday, 01 February 2010 00:00
When you start a new relationship before you’ve barely left the old one, that’s referred to as a rebound romance. Sometimes, you can literally be moving your belongings from one person’s house to another, with no down time for yourself in between. In this situation, you may swear that your new relationship is “my one true love”, “the best thing that’s ever happened to me”, and a “soul mate” connection.
What are the motivating factors that would drive you to make this type of decision after a breakup or divorce? Lots of very compelling emotions, like: fear of the unknown, a strong conviction that you are doing what’s right for you, pain from your past relationship that you want to escape, financial worries, and even, strong feelings of love for the new object of your affection. Unfortunately, while you may be running from a hurtful past, you may also not be taking the opportunity to learn from it. In wanting and needing someone to soothe you, take care of you and love you, and become your immediate replacement for a partner, you may be setting yourself up for a disappointment.
Trying to heal your old wounds through someone else is not a great way to begin a new relationship. Research is not on your side in this arrangement. Less than 2% of couples that started their romance as an extra marital affair stay together. The issues that caused the first breakup, the expectations that go into a new relationship, and the projections placed on the new partner all conspire to cause a breakup.
So what is it that you need to know that can help you steer a safer course through the rugged waters of transition?
Makeovers - How To Improve On What You Have
Monday, 25 January 2010 00:00
Do you want a total makeover? Would you like to feel more attractive? Popular TV shows reveal people getting makeovers, so it must be a universal desire. Do you think that new clothes, a new hairstyle, and new makeup applications are going to give you the change you seek? I’ve gone through this search for a whole new me and once I made up my mind, it couldn’t be done fast enough. And that’s where I got into trouble.In a makeover rush to improve my attraction level, I’ve had haircuts that left me looking like a little old man; makeup experiments that gave me allergic rashes and swollen eyes; and eyebrow waxes that took not only the stray hairs, but enough skin with them to leave me with scabs. Some makeovers can leave you wishing you looked almost as good as you used to.
Makeovers are a fine idea that can give you an energy boost, and can provide the kind of pampered self care that you deserve. However, make a plan that includes some of the following precautions and ideas:
What Is Attractive? Who Is Attractive?
Monday, 18 January 2010 00:00
Have you ever experienced meeting a stunning girl (or guy) and after just a few minutes of talking, they appear less attractive? What is it that some people do that causes them to lose attraction points shortly after you meet them? The reality of how they look conflicts with the way they seem to look in a very short time. The irony of the situation is that these people spend a great deal of time on their looks without becoming aware that their attitudes and behaviors sabotage all of their efforts. After studying this disconnect in people, and looking at how they come across to others, I have noted certain negative patterns that contribute to the presentation of who they are.
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