Dating In This Rocky Economy

Sunday, 09 October 2011 15:07

Last weeks TIME Magazine Money Poll revealed that 70% of Americans have currently cut back on vacations or entertainment because of the economic downturn.  Obviously, a lack of finances can put a serious crimp on socail activities...and dating.  This is when networking and creativity can become your best allies.  Remember "Stone Soup"?  Perhaps you might consider putting a metaphorical stone in the pot and inviting everyone else to bring a "vegetable" to see what you can cook up together.  

Read more: Dating In This Rocky Economy

What Are You REALLY Saying?

Thursday, 29 September 2011 20:51

Are you someone who would LIKE to date…but you never find the way…or the motivation…or the right one?  Have you given up?  Do you have good intentions?  Or do you plan to …well…make a plan?  There are five levels of how we speak to ourselves and to others that we need to be aware of so we can determine what we are saying.   When you speak, be alert to the following:

1. The “Shoulds”
When you use the words, “I should, I have to, I ought to, they made me, and they said I had to,” you are speaking out of a sense of obligation.  You feel obliged to do something you don’t want to do out of circumstances you feel you have no control over.  People who think they are victims often speak this way.  Pay close attention to your thoughts and words that want to blame someone.  Even if you feel you have no influence in certain situations, you do.

2. Possibilities
Speaking of possibilities that might happen in your life is certainly a rung above obligation, but you can get stuck there.  “I might do this, I’m thinking about going into that, maybe I will think about that,” may sound like positive talk, but it often leaves you in a state of never getting around to doing what you are saying.  If you talk about your intentions endlessly, but never do anything, your hopes live in suspension.  It’s great to have dreams, but taking action is what turns dreams into realities.

3. Preferences
If you state your preferences, you’re speaking with more authority than people who live in the “maybe” world.  You are clear about what you like and don’t like and want people to know that your feelings and thoughts count.  But even though you state your opinions, you may never get around to doing anything about them.

4. Excitement
Have you been known to talk with excitement about what you love to do?  If so, you can hook others into your intentions for your ideas and activities.  There’s a drawback however.  No matter how enthused they get, not much is going to happen until you translate that energy into a concrete plan.

5. Promises and Plans
Turning passion into reality comes when you back up your words with a plan. What exactly are you going to do to get what you say you want?  You lay out the specific steps that will be taken.  When you are absolutely committed to taking action you say the words, “I will,” and “I promise,” and you begin.

Listen to your words as you talk to others.  Are you honoring yourself by committing to a course of action?  Promises that lead to action can take the lid off of your potential.

Do You Feel Desperate?

Wednesday, 21 September 2011 13:59

Someone wrote to me recently in response to my blog.  I appreciate her bravery for sharing how she feels.  She speaks for millions of others who experience the same emotions…and made me think of the following quote:

“…I walked for miles at night along the beach, composing bad blank verse and searching endlessly for someone wonderful who would step out of the darkness and change my life.  It never crossed my mind that that person could be me.”  Anna Quindlen, author

Read more: Do You Feel Desperate?

Do Your Old Friends Like Your New Friend?

Thursday, 08 September 2011 01:28

Have you met someone new?  If so, you may find that some of your old friends have a hard time adjusting.  If they think that they are about to be replaced as the special confidant, best-buddy, first-priority in your life, they may experience a wave of panic.

Some people will be thrilled that the two of you have found each other. However, if some of your friends that you hang out with have been avoiding their problems or their empty lives …and you have been a big part of that distraction, they may start to feel threatened.  They may be invested in your staying single more than they (or you) understand.

Read more: Do Your Old Friends Like Your New Friend?