Reviews

From the Book Cover:

"Tonja Weimer is The Professional's professional. After representing children and litigants in family court for nearly twenty years, I would recommend Tonja's book to anyone contemplating, in the middle of, or in the aftermath of divorce. Her sage advice will save the reader years of drama and heartache."
Dottie C. Ingram, J.D., Department of Social Services, Anderson, SC

"Tonja Weimer’s work is ground-breaking. The combination of new information and seasoned wisdom, gained from her life and coaching experience, gives people what they need most at this time: hope. Those who are struggling with breakups will find effective tools and cogent insight in her new book, Thriving After Divorce: Transforming your life when a relationship ends. I highly recommend it for anyone who wants to grow a new life after the disintegrating effects of divorce."
Dr. Roberta Dimond, Professor of Psychology, College of Southern Maryland

"Tonja is a treasure. She is an outstanding writer and an incredible life coach. One of the most amazing things about her is her gift of perception. In all situations, she has the ability to clearly articulate and explain what is going on in such a way, she is able to transform lives. If you are reading this, you have the good fortune of being able to gather her pearls of wisdom and flourish. Grab on with both hands, and don't look back!"
Amy Richmond, Attorney, former client

"This book, the fruitful wisdom of Tonja Weimer’s many years of experience as a coach, will give you a constructive way to make sense of the past and present, but more importantly, will give you a future. If we reap what we sow, Tonja provides you with the long lasting tools to live in the rich harvest of a new life. Welcome to the rest of your life."
Dr. Madhavi Nevader, Lecturer in Theology, Oxford University

From The Infinite Field Magazine - May 2010:

Book Review: Thriving After Divorce

I have been through two break-ups of long term relationships. It would have been extremely helpful to read Tonja Evetts Weimer’s Thriving After Divorce at some point along the road. If I had read it after the first break-up, there is no way I would have entered into the second relationship. If I had read it after the second break-up, my path to ‘thriving’ might have been a little better lit.

I am never one to play the If Only game, so I accept that I am who I am now because of the round about path I took. However, because of my more arduous journey, I recognize an excellent guide book when I see it, and Tonja’s Thriving After Divorce is it.

The sub-title of the book is Transforming your life when a relationship ends.

Ya right. Whether we choose to end a relationship, or it is chosen for us by our partner, transforming our life appears laughable, if not downright impossible. Unless transforming ourselves from Blithering Idiot to Raging Banshee, and back again, counts.

Trust me though, it can be done, and working through the steps that Tonja suggests is transformative. My life has never been better, and I actually sent my second ex a thank you letter for making the choice to break up for us.

Tonja’s approach is all about changing our TAO. In Eastern religious philosophy this roughly translates to ‘the way’. Tonja shows us ‘the way’ by breaking the word TAO into three dependent parts:

• Take
• Actions
• Outcome

Takes, or perceptions, lead to certain Actions, which lead to certain Outcomes. Once we recognize our old Takes, we can create new Takes, new Actions, new Outcomes. Divorce no longer needs to be scary and painful, but transformative.

Obviously, I recommend this book to anyone who is going through a relationship break-up. Interestingly, though, I simply recommend this book. Period. To anyone.

We all have elements of our lives that we should be ‘breaking up with’. Toxic friendships and dead end jobs, to name just a couple. Tonja’s advice is applicable to all situations in which we need to let go and move on in order to thrive. In other words, any situation in which we need to change our Take.

As Tonja points out:

“When it is difficult for one person in a relationship to let go, it is usually a sign of reluctance to grow.”

For example, I am happy as all get out in my relationship with Mr. Very Right, but not so much with my relationship to my 9 to 5 job. There is no growth … at all. I will be using all the steps in Thriving After Divorce to change my Take, identify new Actions, and lead myself to a much healthier Outcome.

Any old Takes in your life that just are not working for you? Maybe it is time to ‘divorce’ yourself from them and start thriving.