Are You All Alone on Valentine’s Day?
Monday, 08 February 2010 00:00
–Dr. Seuss
Who doesn’t want to be in love…especially on Valentine’s Day? The magic of meeting that special person and celebrating a holiday of romance is what every person who is single wistfully dreams of. But what do you do when you find yourself alone on Valentine’s Day? Do you feel depressed, think love is never going to happen for you, and resent the hearts and flowers on display that remind you of having no one to share your chocolates with? There’s a better way. Consider:
- Celebrating You
Maybe it’s time to give yourself a little love. No one says you have to be lonely or without something fun to look forward to. Find a good video to watch, join others for dinner, read a good book, and/or call friends and family to say, “I love you.” And give yourself what you would have wanted from your valentine like, chocolates or flowers. You deserve to brighten your day!
- Giving to Others
Stop and remember: you aren’t the only one celebrating Valentine’s Day alone. Nothing makes you feel better than showing kindness to others. Perfect strangers will appreciate a smile, compliment, or a conversation. Volunteering at a soup kitchen, animal shelter, hospital, or nursing home will bring love to those who need it the most. Love is positive energy, and positive energy is healing and hopeful. When you spread a little of that around, you’ve just given the gift of renewal.
- Being Active
This suggestion is especially important for those who are recently single—stay active. Keep your focus on what you can do for yourself and others on this Valentine’s Day and don’t indulge in noticing what couples are doing. If necessary, avoid restaurants and other gathering places where people are sharing a romantic dinner or dance unless other singles will also be there. Card shops, florists, and jewelry stores are not where you need to be on this day, nor do you want to be surfing the internet for a conversation with someone. It will probably make you feel depressed. Exercise is one of the best ways to give yourself an instant boost of energy. De-cluttering your home or workspace is another. After that, think about taking your dog for a walk, riding your bike, and curling up to watch a movie—preferably, something funny.
- Making a Dating Plan
Use this Valentine’s Day as a motivation to start dating. Remember: everything you’ve ever accomplished took a plan. What is your dating plan? Get a calendar and start writing down what you will do and when you will do it. For instance, who can you call and tell, “I would like to meet other singles to date. Do you know anyone interesting?” Put the name of the person you will call on your calendar. Put at least 10 names down and then call them all back in the next month and ask if they’re still thinking about someone for you. Make a new list of 10 more people to call to ask the same question. Also put on your calendar what event you will attend and who you will ask to go with you. If you don’t have any single friends who want to socialize, attend some singles events by yourself. Not only will you meet potential dates, you will also meet new friends who may be willing to go places with you. Your goal is to get out often, be friendly, and network with people. Your plan to do this should be written down and checked often. Don’t just talk about it. Do it!
- Remembering Who You Are
On Valentine’s Day it is especially important to remember that it is not a relationship that defines who you are – you define who you are. Being single doesn’t mean you are less of a person. It simply means you are a remarkable single person. Remember your accomplishments, the kind things people have said to you, and the people who have loved you through the years. Enjoy this moment, savor your small indulgences, and focus on your future. Because your future can be full of fabulous dating, if you make a plan and take the action steps to have it that way.
If you don’t have a date or a mate this Valentine’s Day, then make it your day. Remember the above and then go ahead. Have another chocolate. Celebrate!