What Are You REALLY Saying?

Thursday, 29 September 2011 20:51

Are you someone who would LIKE to date…but you never find the way…or the motivation…or the right one?  Have you given up?  Do you have good intentions?  Or do you plan to …well…make a plan?  There are five levels of how we speak to ourselves and to others that we need to be aware of so we can determine what we are saying.   When you speak, be alert to the following:

1. The “Shoulds”
When you use the words, “I should, I have to, I ought to, they made me, and they said I had to,” you are speaking out of a sense of obligation.  You feel obliged to do something you don’t want to do out of circumstances you feel you have no control over.  People who think they are victims often speak this way.  Pay close attention to your thoughts and words that want to blame someone.  Even if you feel you have no influence in certain situations, you do.

2. Possibilities
Speaking of possibilities that might happen in your life is certainly a rung above obligation, but you can get stuck there.  “I might do this, I’m thinking about going into that, maybe I will think about that,” may sound like positive talk, but it often leaves you in a state of never getting around to doing what you are saying.  If you talk about your intentions endlessly, but never do anything, your hopes live in suspension.  It’s great to have dreams, but taking action is what turns dreams into realities.

3. Preferences
If you state your preferences, you’re speaking with more authority than people who live in the “maybe” world.  You are clear about what you like and don’t like and want people to know that your feelings and thoughts count.  But even though you state your opinions, you may never get around to doing anything about them.

4. Excitement
Have you been known to talk with excitement about what you love to do?  If so, you can hook others into your intentions for your ideas and activities.  There’s a drawback however.  No matter how enthused they get, not much is going to happen until you translate that energy into a concrete plan.

5. Promises and Plans
Turning passion into reality comes when you back up your words with a plan. What exactly are you going to do to get what you say you want?  You lay out the specific steps that will be taken.  When you are absolutely committed to taking action you say the words, “I will,” and “I promise,” and you begin.

Listen to your words as you talk to others.  Are you honoring yourself by committing to a course of action?  Promises that lead to action can take the lid off of your potential.