Dating Success …Like Any Success…Is Timeless

Friday, 28 October 2011 14:54

I just finished reading the self-published biography of a telecommunications executive who is now retired.  He wanted to record his work, experiences, and travels for his friends and family.  Just like his life…the book was long.  Often, the anecdotes didn’t even have a point.  I found myself wondering and hanging on most of the paragraphs saying to myself…yeah? And…? 

Sound like a page-turner?  It was.

Honest, sometimes funny, and always very human, he wasn’t looking for a moral lesson…he was just giving the facts as they happened to him.  So I kept reading.  I suppose I stayed engrossed because I find the patterns and habits of successful people fascinating…no matter how they tell the story.  Truly, it was all laid out in his simple memoir.

First of all, he chose a field for which he had some natural talent.  Then…he worked relentlessly to be the best he could be at it.  (Successful people are super focused.)  He also chose a sport and a hobby (music) that he could enjoy and perform extraordinarily well at.  Both of those outlets gave him the facility to meet people socially.  Between being good at his profession, at his sport, and with his musical instrument, he had a level of confidence that he had earned.  Not cockiness…just assurance that he was good at something.

And finally, he was not only friendly… he knocked himself out getting involved wherever he found himself.  He made it his responsibility to talk to people at work, in the hotel where he was staying when he traveled, and to ask about where he could find places to eat, play tennis, and learn about his surroundings.  When he was living in foreign countries, he spent time understanding the local culture, learning the language, and eating the native food.

Soon, he not only had friends…he had dates.  As a coach I know this much: Life works when you step up, speak up, and take leadership for what you want.

And as an aside…the guy had lots and lots of dates until he met the one successful, interesting, authentic woman who said: … “Either I’m your last date, or…I’m moving on.”  They’ve been married for over forty years.