10 Dating Reminders
Friday, 15 July 2011 19:25
1. Dating is an adventure.
I know…you’ve heard this before. But somewhere along the way we got so SERIOUS about the whole thing. If you hold the idea of dating as one big adventure, you will lessen the pressure and relax a little more. Besides…you can't be rejected unless you give people that power over you, so learn how to set some boundaries and then settle in for the fun.
2. Build your evidence.
If you are nervous about meeting people, you need reminders that you are wonderful. Save every note, postcard, medal, and treasured word you have received that make you feel warm and validated and put them in a box. If you feel anxious before going out on a date, take your collected evidence out and look at it. You need to be reminded that other people are happy to spend time with you and that you have something to offer.
3. You can find love.
Do not listen to the voices of others who say otherwise. All the good ones are NOT gone. How could they be? You’re still here.
4. Do something for others.
Being kind, demonstrating compassion, and showing people you care about them is as important for you as it is for them. You don't have to be a "pleaser," but make a generous gesture to someone everyday and notice how good you feel. Just a sincere compliment is a gift to people.
5. Do what's right.
In a time when cynicism and depression can creep into our lives, we are tempted to think and say, "What difference does it make?" Well, actually, it makes a difference to you if you noticed something is not okay and you need to "right it." Do what's right, even when it doesn't matter.
6. Develop your authenticity.
Polish, cherish, and live your one-of-a-kind self. No one can be you; no one can replace you. Find your mission, purpose, talents, and values. Therein resides who you are.
7. Don't settle.
This is a big one. Too many people get scared and settle for someone who is less than they want. Dr. Karl Menninger said, "...The voice of intelligence is drowned by the roar of fear". Fear of being alone can drive people to make choices that are unsuitable for them. Dating takes the courage to keep going out there to meet people, and to hold out until you meet the one for you.
8. Know your deal breakers.
Everyone has a list of "must-have" requirements...they just usually don't know it. It is their hidden agenda. Bring those qualities into the forefront that you must have in a partner in order for a relationship to work. If you don't know what they are, get a coach or counselor to help you discover them.
9. Do your best to look your best.
Looking good is important, so do what you can to work on your appearance. After you have done everything you can to look your best, the key to being even more attractive is to forget about it. Do not obsess about your appearance. It's important that when you go out on a date, YOU show up--not just a shell wearing some new clothes.
10. Who said it would be easy?
Somewhere, we became enamored with the notion that we didn't have to do anything to meet our true love. Dating takes some work. Once you realize that, you can get over it. If you date often enough, you will get some experience and confidence, but meeting new people and evaluating whether you want to be with them, while they are evaluating you, can be stressful.
Keep these reminders in your memory bank and take them out when you need shoring up. You can do it.